Changed the name of my blog from "Lost in Space" to "One Day at a Time" which is more appropriate, even in a literal sense. It is with a sense of relief that I am able to complete a day bearing the kind of pain that I carry, which, sorry for everyone reading this, will not merit an elaboration in this very public blog. Suffice it to say that I am surviving mentally, emotionally, spiritually and that is what is important. However it comes with a great amount of pain in my heart which I do not think I will ever get over. Perhaps later during the day I will post some poetry I wrote in 05 when I took that beautiful writing course under Tweetums Gonzalez. Or maybe I will post that auto biography I started a year ago..but never got beyond age 5. haha. more later...

Noticed my mysterious friend MD posted a comment, and I couldn't agree with him/her more. Today is really all we have and we shouldn't do any more of this 'self-flagellation' a lot of us are wont to do when we look back and try to imagine how 'things could have been'. Because 'things that could have been' would not have happened to begin with since other factors would have come into play to prevent it. Fatalistic? maybe. The important thing really is to be proud of everything that has happened to you and not make others make you feel guilty when they say it was your fault that this happened, coz you didn't do this or that... At that very moment, given the circumstances, your maturity (or lack of), your mental state, your intellectual capabilities and your emotions it was the very best decision you could have made, and if there were a replay, ...well...you would have done exactly the same thing.

Incidentally, I love the Tyra Banks show. It empowers me so much, and is the perfect way to start the day. I don't care if EVERYBODY just hates her to pieces and if they find her nakakadiri and baduy and pang masa and 'trying hard' -- i think she makes sense and I don't care if you call me shallow or what for appreciating her show.

more later.